Monday, April 23, 2012

Birthday Piranhas!

Yesterday, my Mother celebrated her 80th birthday at the Bethlehem Baptist Church in Tacoma, Washington. Beforehand, I had a tour of the facilities as I was concerned it wouldn't be large enough to hold the 50+ people we anticipated would attend. I was informed that the space could hold 160. Yes, plenty of room, and then some (or so I thought). I was in charge of food and drink, and had supplied enough munchies for the amount of people who RSVP'd. At last count, 76 responded to say they were attending. The party was scheduled for a 2 o'clock start. As I entered through the rear door with the food at 1 o'clock, I glanced into the dining room to find folks already seated. I guess that was the first sign of trouble. They continued to trickle in (with or without invite). By the party's official start time, the venue was FULL! Hmmm...76 RSVP'd, but there's not a seat to be had, AND we're adding tables! Sounded like 160+ guests. The church staff informed me that the meager offerings of food I had supplied would not be enough. I found myself leaving mid-party to make a run to the grocery store. Folks from all walks of life filtered into the dining room. I know there's some people who trawl churches on the weekend looking for weddings, funerals, or parties. They ease in as if they know the honoree, and feed. I had my doubts that everyone was there for my Mother's party when a gentleman with a distinctive Irish accent asked me where the men's facilities were. (LOL) As quick as any food was put out, it was quickly devoured. By 3:15 p.m., I started to pull the food that was left as folks were just going to eat until there was nothing left. Hell, my daughter and I hadn't even eaten, and didn't look like we were going to. Even after the food was brought into the kitchen, there were people coming into the rear for to-go plates! Eventually, I had to take the food to the truck. Lawd have mercy! So my point is this: 1. If someone sends you an RSVP, please respond "yes or no." The party giver needs a head count in order that enough food/beverage is available. 2. It's not necessary to eat every damned thing as if you're starving! Leave behind a couple of crumbs for the folks who are serving you to eat! 3. If you're not invited: Don't come! 4. If you didn't respond: Don't come! 5. If you're trawling the streets for free eats: Don't come to any more of the parties that I'm buying food for 'cause I'll throw your ass to the curb! rainwriter jones @ 2 a.m.

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