Friday, January 27, 2012

Surviving Immortality and the Adult Experiment


With his back as an alarm clock, he wakes to yet another rainy morning. Dangling feet bedside,

he pops the cricks from his stiffened frame, and for a time, blurrily watches his left foot hanging weightless.

The light shines differently on the middle toe as it lazily leans on the outer one like a drunken companion staggering homeward after a pub crawl.

Ripped moccasins stand prepared to receive battered feet, and take him to the porch for his morning paper. Yes, it rained,

and the naked newsprint is soggy with black ink pooled on a sunken wooden plank.

He lays open the sports section on the kitchen table. It is all that is noteworthy on this day of crooked toes, wet newspapers…

and rain.

rainwriter jones


I'm preparing this blog for those of you with young children. You as a parent have as many developmental stages as your child. You not only watch them grow, but grow with them. All along the way, your babies are tugging to be free of your hold. They squirm; you hold tight: Trying to protect them from all the evils of the outside world. When you're at the point in life as I am, you no longer have "children," but "offspring." This can be more tenuous than having babies or small ones. They often make decisions which are contrary to yours which can make this time the most heart-wrenching.

I came to realize that you have to let go. Once your child survives the thoughts of immortality (nothing can kill me attitude) during their teen years, they must grow into their next stage of being an adult: A full-fledged adult in which they have the DUTY to make mistakes. It, indeed, is an ongoing experiment. Even at my age, I'm changing the direction of my plans to suit the circumstance. That's true life!

I found that I'm beginning to change places with my parents: Shaking my head at what my offspring are doing with their lives. Now I'm sure that they were doing the same thing in my regard. When I was 23, they watched me move in haste over a little spat I had with my sister, just to return before the next months' rent was due.

You won't know it until it's your turn to let go of a control that you've had for 18+ years. Your child will stop asking "if" they can do something, and tell you what they're "going" to do. A most tender time for parents as we balance the need to nurture, and our own want of having the freedoms once afforded pre-children.

*letting go of the proverbial tether...*

rainwriter jones @ 2 a.m.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Beating A Dead Horse: The Recurring Projection Nightmare

It was a fitful night as I heard ice crash to the street from God knows where. The sound pierced the winter air like the dreams which awoke me. I had several dreams, but you know how it is, they sometimes fade with the morning light. There's always one or two which are quite poignant, and are like the missing puzzle piece to your present circumstance. I've had some major disappointments as of late, and have tried to analyze how to perceive the reasons behind why they occurred.

One of my dreams involved my brother's family. I wasn't surprised when my sister-in-law called me a few hours later. This dream was benign. It was the other dream in which I wanted to enter a stairwell in an office building, but needed to make sure the door unlocked from the other side. I interpret this as entering into a situation or relationship which once inside, it's hard (if not impossible) to leave. Indeed, I will carefully choose my bedfellows.

I thought of people, their misery, and the way they project it onto others. There's a direct connection between the disappointment which has been wrought upon me, and the behaviors of those around me. They let their circumstance dictate how they treat their unwitting victims. I don't know, but sometimes it's easier if I treat individuals who act untowardly in a social networking sense.

So, I made a decision under bedclothes to treat my life like Facebook. Group those dead horses into one category, then block their feeds. It can't get any easier than that, can it? Just like Facebook, my life will have some folks' relationship status changed depending on their reciprocity and/or projection characteristics. These people can be soul takers, and contact with them should be severely curtailed, if not eliminated.

A good dream and a strong cup of coffee always brings things into perfect focus.

rainwriter jones @ 2 a.m.

Monday, January 16, 2012

"Hope" As A 4-Letter Word

Today we observe the birth of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on January 15, 1929. A day to celebrate the dreams of a dreamer which led us here to this point in history. But what have we accomplished since his assassination in Memphis, Tennessee on April 4, 1968? Is hope still alive for a better tomorrow for everyone?

Things have definitely changed, but not all for the better. We are able to be slackers, forgetful, disrespectful: Hope has become a 4-letter word with with insignificance written all over it. There are so many times I look through my window to see both men and women holding up the wall at the bar across the street. There they are: Loud, drunk, sometimes brawling. Did MLK die for our right to be idiots?

Education was (and IS) of paramount importance, and at the forefront of many of Dr. King's speeches. Without education, we damn ourselves to sit like cavemen afraid of the dark. Yet and still, so many of us take for granted their right to be educated and act foolishly. Having not lived in the days when education was a privilege, they don't finish school. Some spend their lives in a oblivious stupor letting things happen "to" them instead making things happen "for" them.

But they're not the only ones to blame for the ignorance which has befallen our civilization. When funding a major league football stadium takes precedence over educating our children, society as a whole has failed. My concern is that greed has not only foreshadowed any reasonable attempt to educate our children, but has blinded us to the need to be informed. Without information, we are, indeed, ignorant. For all we know, the gadgets and gizmos which are tossed at us as the new electronic miracle may be an attempt at keeping us enslaved.

"Hope" as a 4 letter word? Lets try a 5-letter word instead. "Faith." I have faith that all will eventually be the way Dr. King envisioned; a world without color lines, without fear. Though the two words are comparable, they are not interchangeable. Unfortunately, we won't see this in our lifetime.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

Where do we go from here?

rainwriter jones @ 2 a.m.